Danielle

I was in that damned room again. Still chained. Still cold. Still scared. My whole body was sore, especially between my legs. I’d lost track of the time and the days after day 4.

The door shot open and light flooded the room, stinging my eyes. A familiar voice echoed through the room , “Danielle! Danielle, are you here?”

“…O-over here!” I managed in a dry, hoarse voice.

“Danielle!” C shouted, wrapping his arms around me. He squeezed me tightly, sobbing into my chest, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Danielle! I’ll make up for this, I promise!”

“Please, help me…” I whispered.

He nodded and started pulling the chain around my ankle, trying to break it, but it wouldn’t budge. He’d almost gotten it undone when two more figures burst into the room. A man with short blonde hair and a woman with long wavy blonde hair. They looked to be siblings.

She shouted at C, but I couldn’t hear well anymore. My vision was fading. The two pried C from me and began to beat him. He fought back, but they were stronger. The Man held him still as the woman continued to punch him and kick him until he was too weak to even lift a finger.

The woman laughed and told him something, but I still couldn’t hear. I was falling into a black abyss, my heart aching. 

“Danielle… what… what did you dream of?” C asked over and over, pulling me into a tight embrace. 

I managed, in between sobs, “Dark room… you… beaten… woman… blonde hair… man who… ra… me…”

“I’m sorry, Danielle… it’s okay…” He ran his fingers through my hair and wiped the tears from my face as they fell. I hadn’t even noticed it was still dark out until I finally calmed down and quit crying. 

“What time is it?” I asked, curled up against him. He had his arms around me protectively. I felt so safe, so secure. Like always.

“No idea. I’m guessing 5 or 6 in the morning. You okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

He stood, grabbing my hand to help me up, “Come on, let’s go watch the sun rise.”

I smiled, following him to the bench overlooking the lake. It was small, wooden and creaky, but we fit snuggly on it. We watched the first orange and pink sun rays flood through the sky and dance through the clouds, creating a beautiful, calm scenery. But my thoughts kept drifting back to the dream. Who were those two who beat C?

“C, there were two people in my dream. A woman with wavy blonde hair and a man with short blond hair. Both around 20, like us. You ran into the room and tried to free me, but they caught you and beat you…”

C didn’t even turn my way. In his eyes I caught a flash of recognition and pain. He just nodded, gaze stuck on the sky and the rising sun.

Eventually he turned to me and said, “Let’s go eat at a restaurant for breakfast. “

“But we have no-“

He pulled out of his pocket a 20 dollar bill and a 5 dollar bill, handing them to me, “An old woman dropped these in front of me the other day in the grocery store. I picked them up and handed them to her, but she pushed them back and said I could keep them. She said I looked raggedy and hungry and should use it for some cheap clothes and some food.”

The bills felt crisp and fragile between my fingers. I’d never held so much money in my hands before. Then again, I didn’t remember anything so how would I know?

“Come on, let’s go.” C said, hoping up. He outstretched his hand for me to take and led us down the street. 

We decided to eat at whatever restaurant we stumbled upon first, which ended up being a Denny’s. We were sat down and waited by a skinny woman with a Jersey accent, who explained she was indeed from Jersey and had two twin boys at home with a daddy who was a famous wrestler neither of us had ever heard of. Which wasn’t really surprising because I don’t watch T.V. anymore. Let alone sports or wrestling.

Both C and I ordered fluffy buttermilk pancakes and two tall glasses of orange juice. I fed him a couple bites of my pancakes and he fed me a couple bites of his. Sometime during our little date, I crawled into his side of the booth and snuggled up against him. 

He smiled down at me, warming me on the inside, and planted a kiss on my lips that I melded into immediately. I entirely forgot we were in the restaurant until we were interrupted by the waiter, loudly clearing his throat. We both gently smiled up at him like little kids trying to get out of trouble and he just put the bill on the table and disappeared.

C took out the twenty and laid it on top of the bill before turning back to me and returning to our kiss. Of course, he pulled away before we got caught again. He wiped the hair from my eyes and smiled, the waiter discretely taking the bill and twenty. 

“Want do you want to do today, Danielle?”

“How about we take a walk on the beach?”

A big grin spread across his face, “That sounds great.” 

Chris

The only beach in our town is Meldridge beach on James Bay. It’s only a few miles from the shipyard. Danielle and I used to always go for walks and hang out there when we were still in high school. A small hill stretched out before it, followed by a few feet of sand and then the shoreline. The hill was covered in tall grass and a few trees here and there.

It was about a 4 to 5 mile walk from the diner, but that was fine. We had to walk everywhere anyways. Danielle and I arrived just a couple hours before sunset, so we snuggled up under one of the trees. Only a couple other people were on the beach today, but they ignored us so that was perfectly fine. Neither me or Danielle particularly like attention from strangers. 

My mind kept drifting back to Danielle’s dream. With the blonde haired woman and man. I knew exactly who they were, but I didn’t want to admit it to Danielle.

But then she, of course, asked the dreaded question I’d been praying against. 

“C, who were those people in my dream?”

I sighed, “Erick… and Amber.”

“But why did they take me? What am I to them?”

“You’ll know soon enough.”

She crawled out of my grasp, her fists clenched, “Why won’t you tell me anything? Why do you keep playing these games with me? Just tell me what happened! Tell me who they are! Tell me who you are!”

“Danielle I-“

“I just want to start over. All I need is to know my past.” Tears slid down her cheeks now, “I’m developing all kinds of feelings towards you. You’re all I have now, my best friend, my protector, my lover, but I need to know what happened between us. But you won’t even tell me your damned name! I am so tired of these riddles!” 

My jaw tightened. She was furious with me. But I was still recovering, too. She wasn’t the only one who was hurt. Can’t she understand I’m not ready to face the past? All I wanted was to start over too but I had to forget the past in order to do that. I would give anything to switch places with her.

“It’s a good thing you don’t know, Danielle. It’s saving you a lot of pain. But that pain I can’t get away from. You can. I don’t want to see you hurt or in pain again. I’d rather you not know and be happy with me than for you to know and have to suffer… like me.” 

She waved her hand, dismissing my words, “I need to know, C. Who is Amber and Erick?”

I said nothing, my throat swelling and drying. My heart was pounding so hard and loudly it could drown out drums that were right next to my ears. 

Do it. Get it over with, Chris! Dump her! If you don’t, then both of you lose your lives.

That voice. That sharp, cold, feminine voice I knew all too well. That voice I wanted to forget but I knew I wouldn’t. It haunted my dreams and stained my past.

Get outta my head, Amber.

“You going to say something? Anything at all?” Danielle said, crossing her arms.

“I will tell you everything, Danielle. But not now.”

Tell her! Tell her you love me and not her!

“ ‘I’ll tell you later, Danielle. I’m not ready yet.’ “ Danielle said, attempting a male voice, mocking me.

I said nothing, just glared at her, fighting back tears and resurfacing memories of wavy blond hair, blue eyes and scarily pale skin. Then that cold, heartless voice. 

She shook her head, hurt and confusion in her arms, “I’m just gonna go…”

I stood to follow, but she stopped me, “I wanna be alone… I need some time.”

“I’m not leaving your side. I have to-“

“You don’t have to do anything, I can take care of myself.” 

I watched her sigh and move on, disappearing from my sight and the beach within minutes. I was tempted to follow her. Without her knowing. Just to make sure she’d be okay. But I needed to be alone as well. Flashbacks were rolling before my eyes like a movie. They reminded me of what I’d done. How I’d fucked up.

It’s insane how one simple thought can lead to another, then to a decision, an action which causes chain reactions. Before you know it, everything’s upside down. Your life went from perfect to hell in one single day’s time. 

“Hey there, my name’s Amber Conrad.”

“Um, hi.”

I’d tried to walk away, but she followed me down the damned bread isle. 

“You look upset, what’s bothering you?”

Oh my gosh, go away, “Nothing. Just...”

“Relationship problems?” Amber sighed, chuckling a little.

I’d squinted down at her. I was only an inch or two taller than her. She was the same height as Jaclyn. “How would you know?”

“How stiff you are. How dark your expression is. How you try to get away from me, but I follow anyways. So what’s going on between you and your lucky girlie?”

She needed to mind her own damn business. Wait, why was she watching me and following me?

“I’m just going to take my peanut butter and bread and get outta here and go home. Nice chatting.”

“Oh! I’ll come with you, I’m ready to go too.” All she had in hand was a bottle of beer and a bag of lays potato chips. An unusual combination. 

And indeed she did go to the same check out line I did. Indeed she followed me inside, chattering away about her parents being judgmental and stupid. Then she went on about how she just dumped her boyfriend the other day because he always ignored her and called her ugly and stupid and fat.

She popped open the beer bottle she’d purchased. Yep, right in the middle of the Wal-Mart parking lot. She offered me some and I gladly drank a bit out of the bottle. But… a bit turned into half the darned bottle.

“So… what’s going on with you and your woman?” She asked again before popping open the bottle.

I sighed, “It’s just… she’s so sensitive. She takes everything the wrong way. I say something or do the tinniest thing wrong, she freaks out and thinks it’s because I don’t want her, I don’t love her anymore, I’m cheating on her or something like that and she’s upset the whole day and it makes me feel guilty… like I’ve killed someone. I feel so… worthless and stupid.”

“Well… a lot of girls are like that. But I’m sorry you feel that way. You’re not worthless. I’m sure she loves you more than anything.” 

“Yep…” 

I took a sip from the beer bottle. But that sip turned into 5. Soon enough, I was buzzed. 

“You know… you look really pretty.”

She had blushed and smiled. It had seemed so cute at the time, “Thanks.”

She’d invited me over to her house and I’d accepted. I followed her to her jeep and crawled in beside her. I wasn’t thinking at all. I regret everything!

She lived a few blocks over from Danielle, actually. She lived in a small blue house with a big porch and a pine tree in the front yard. On the inside, all the furniture matched. A small coffee table, a desk with a computer, a dining table with 4 chairs and a bookshelf all in the living room. Oak brown. Then there was the caramel brown velvet couch, but even that fit in. The house seemed perfectly clean – not one speck of dirt or a scratch on the furniture. The only flaw was myself. I knew I shouldn’t be there. But I stayed nonetheless. 

She took out a case of beer and we drank it together. One beer turned into 2, which turned into 4 and eventually 5. Before I knew it, I was drunk. 

I wasn’t thinking clearly at all at this point. I was staring at her neck. It was so pale and seemed so smooth… like Danielle’s. Something in my mind shouted, trying to get me to stop but I ignored it. I scooted closer to her on the couch and wiped the hair from her eyes and kissed her. I kissed her more passionately than I ever had Danielle. She ran her fingers through my hair, down my neck and my back. 

God, it was mistake! But I couldn’t take it back. 

I wrapped one arm around Amber’s waist and the other one held the nape of her neck. She slipped a hand to my crotch and caressed me. By now, I was trapped by whatever this thing was that was driving me. I couldn’t pull away. She’d brought out an animal in me and it was taking over. 

I tore her clothes off, and she copied with mine. I trailed kisses down her body. So smooth… so delicate and fragile…

I gave into her guiltless. It wouldn’t be until the following morning, when I awoke naked beside her on the bed, when I realized what had happened and had felt the sinking of my heart with the guilt. 

Amber rolled over, noticing I had just awoke, and she smiled.

“Morning, sexy.” 

I had panicked and jumped up, my body sore. I wanted to die in that instant. I’d cheated on Danielle… my love… she’d never forgive me! I couldn’t bear to live without her! Why would I do this? What was I thinking? I ruined everything!

“I… I have to go.”

Amber frowned and sat upright, “What’s wrong?”

I slipped into my boxers and pulled my jeans on. Amber crawled out of bed and walked over to me, attempting to wrap her arms around me but I pushed her away. I growled, “This was a mistake! I wish I’d never met you.”

She shook her head, still confused, “That’s not what you said last night.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and I quickly put my shirt on, then found my jacket and slipped my hands through the sleeves. I ran to the door.

“Will I see you again soon?” She tried to sound innocent. 

I glared at her over my shoulder, “No. This thing between you and me never happened.”

“Chris… sweetie don’t be like that. You told me that girl made you feel worthless… just stay with me. I’ll make you feel amazing.”

I growled at her, “You’re nothing but a home wrecking whore.”

At last, my eyes opened, freeing me from the torment of my memory. It was dark out. About 9 or 10 o’clock. I rolled over, only to notice Danielle wasn’t there beside me like she should be. That’s right, she’d gotten mad earlier and left. But I had to find her. Make sure she was safe. 

Danielle

After I’d left C at the beach, I’d calmed down after about a half hour or so, so I returned to the beach, hoping he’d be waiting for me. But he was not. He was probably already at the park. 

The sun had just set a little bit ago and it was already dark out. 

I decided to take the long way back to the park so I could have a bit more time to think. I felt so used… by C and Jaclyn. How could she do that to me? Slam my head against the bathtub to make me forget… she ruined my life! I trusted her with everything and then I found she was the reason I didn’t remember anything! What else had she lied about? My name? 

Well, no because that’s what C called me even the first time he saw me. But I felt used by him now. He wouldn’t tell me anything. Not until I remembered his name. I probably never would.

The only light I had was from the streetlights with about 15 feet of darkness between each. The streets were so quiet too, except for the occasional car or plane.

I’d been walking for about an hour or so, almost at the park, when I saw a man who appeared to be in his early 40’s, late 30’s sitting next to a dumpster I was passing. He was dangerously skinny, with raggedy jeans, a white shirt two times larger than his size, a little navy beanie and matching fingerless gloves. He had one lazy eye and a few missing teeth.

When he saw me walking past, he smiled and spit, “hay there yooounge lady.”

“Um… hi?” I fidgeted, hoping he’d leave me alone. He appeared to be drunk, by the way he talked to me and the way he was barely able to stand up. He had to hold the wall for support.

I turned to continue on, but he called me back, “C-Can you d-do meeee a faaavorr?” 

Not wanting to be rude, I nodded. He gestured with his finger for me to come closer, and I felt like a dog. I wanted to run. What was this man going to say? Going to do? As I came closer, the stench of piss, sewerage and fish hit me. My stomach twisted inside of me. I wanted to puke.

The man grabbed my arm and pulled me as close to him as he could so that our bodies were pressed against one another. In that instant, he had also pulled a pocketknife out and had it stuck against my neck. 

A little shriek escaped me, and he chuckled a little, “Kiss me.”